This is my fourth attempt and I believe the pitch was as solid as I could make it. And once again, it was shot down. Reading many of the pitches that passed only made the loss that much more painful. I knew then it wasn't the quality of the pitches allowing them to advance, it was the whether the story 'fit' into their idea of acceptable.
So what does a person do if they can't write in the canned format of popular? That is the burning question I have now. Many of the people who have read my work, keep telling me it is a great read. True, it's not for everyone, but it is a powerful story. Perhaps a little too realistic for some, but that's what I write. And they insist I shouldn't be discouraged. I keep wondering how I can manage not to be, unless I can find a way to change my style into something common. Where does a writer turn when they realize that they might have good stories and good writing, but no way of getting any acknowledgement?
Maybe I cannot write a good story, I have no way of really knowing. I read the reviews of my books and they were all good, I even had readers I did not know email me to say how much they enjoyed it. So I was almost beginning to gain a little confidence in my writing. That's pretty much been shot to pieces. Now I am on the teeter-totter between not knowing if I am just a crappy writer or if I just write stories considered to edgy for a newby. It would be nice if there was a answer to this question, but I have no idea how to find it if there is one.
Its a hard dilemma to be trapped in. I feel like a Pitbull, trapped in the image of being ferocious regardless of their personality. Being judged without even having the opportunity to be heard it feels like I will be stuck in limbo of uncertainty. Either I must perform as expected, in a narrow, limited scope or give up any hope of getting a little hint of the worth of my work. All I was hoping for was an honest opinion, only to find out that even contests won't give that answer.